Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
