My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
