dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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