Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
