That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
