Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
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