One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
