Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
