Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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