I hate all girls vehemently.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
