why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
