who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Oh god it's open bar.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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