I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I touched a dick in church today
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
please don't ironically join a cult
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize