my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
