If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
