after a month anything with tits is on the radar
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
