I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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