Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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