Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize