i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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