was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
