Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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