in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
