mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
worst night to have a conscience
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
