i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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