I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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