At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
