Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
