1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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