im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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