You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
someone threw a dead crab at me
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
