Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
