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Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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