dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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