just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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