to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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