if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
