Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The uberlube is also flammable
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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