My sheets look like a crime scene.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
