Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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