That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
