Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
