btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
