i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
