so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
