pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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