marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
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