just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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