You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
