even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
