...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
