I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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