Your tits are I can't wait for
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
