he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
