I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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