Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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