you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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