Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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