i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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