I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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