doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
