I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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