Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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