Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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