the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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