So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
