Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Your cock deserves a montage
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
