I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
