The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He better not be in your backpack
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
